|So whilst on dating sites like OkCupid and Plenty of Fish, I’ve come across some pretty interesting messages. Some of them dare unintelligible, others kind of humorous and then some that were just downright offensive. These are honest to God, unaltered messages I have received from men trying to initiate conversation with me. Obviously I didn’t even so much as respond to any of the ones listed below… and after reading these, I think you will agree that it was with good reason that I just ignored them all together. I’ve compiled the best (worst) ones that I could find for you guys. I call this my Online Dating Bloopers Blog – enjoy!
~Um… I have no comment for this other than the word “dare” and “date” mean two different things. Grammar is key.
“Your skinny rawr.”
~Please learn the proper use of “your” and/or “you’re”. Additionally, telling me that I’m skinny is neither a compliment, nor an insult… think of something better to say.
“Don’t forget the cheese and peppers xtra napkins and diet 2 liter of coke.”
~Just because it says I work at a pizza place, doesn’t mean you can act like one of my customers… douche.
“No this isn’t a pick-up line..but have we met? You look really familiar.”
~Um… this isn’t a pick up line my ass…
“Wut if you fill yer brain with life instead of let life kill your brain lol I dont thats my theory.”
~I’m pretty sure the last time I checked, life doesn’t kill my brain to begin with – but thanks, I’ll keep that in mind…
“i jus come see em all day “
~I have no idea what this guy was talking about…
“I thought I’d write and congratulate you on being a lunatic’s highest match.
~A lunatic’s highest match? That’s scary enough. Next!
“I look for friend w benefit. Not one night, long term trusted partner as long as you want. I’m Japanese, polite, clean, flexible, have technique for pleasing lady a lot.Life is short. Till you find real one, it worth to you. Let’s have coffee or drink first to see how you like me. Hope to hear from you!”
~I look for people who are fluent in English. Additionally, you should look up the term Friends With Benefits.
“Hey, Are your legs tired, because you’ve been running through my mind all day long. They say the economy is not getting any better. I’d like to do my part and take you out to dinner. If not for me then do it for American “
~Cheesiest pick up line EVER. And I don’t even know what to say about the whole “If not for me then do it for American” thing… wow.
“Dam! You have a higher than average sex drive than most girls. I bet you only date black guys. I think that’s okay and there’s nothing wrong with that if you do but I do want to let you know I’M BLACK WHERE IT COUNTS! That’s right! What’s up!!”
~WTF is this? Seriously? You have little man’s syndrome and need to learn to shut the hell up.
“Hey baby I wanna lay u down and kiss ur whole body. I wanna role play”
~Gross. Major turn off.
“I noticed your profile and i thought i offer you an opportunity to have some fun today or at a later date. My name is Jeff. Im 32 5’9 175 pounds very athletic build. I am asking if you would like to do some things together.
~Um… this is pretty gross too. I can’t imagine this type of message actually landing any guy a chick…
“Dam girl ur smiles sweet like candy
~This guy rhymes like a third grader. I’m not impressed.
There are obviously many, many more where this came from… But I just thought I’d give you guys a little taste of what NOT to do while trying the online courtship thing. Good luck out there guys – if you’re anything like these guys above – you’re gonna need it!
- Date 9 of 30: The Search Is Over – I Found Him! (conundrumswrappedinenigmas.wordpress.com)
- I’ve Got A Date, I’ve Got A Date, I’ve Got A Date, Hey-Hey, Hey-Hey! (conundrumswrappedinenigmas.wordpress.com)
- On Hiatus (conundrumswrappedinenigmas.wordpress.com)