We Asked 10 Guys… They Answered.


As a single woman, all too often we find ourselves crying on the shoulders of our girlfriends, asking ourselves and each other the questions we have about men and relationships. Sadly, asking ourselves these things ultimately gets us nowhere and we are left with unanswered questions. So we drafted up a list of our 10 most frequently asked questions and asked guys to answer them as truthfully as possible. These are the results, straight from a guy’s perspective:

1. What do you look for in a girlfriend? 

Chris D., 29 – “Someone who I can still be myself around and doesn’t expect me to change the person I am or want to become. Looks matter too obviously. Sex has to be good. Someone who is chill and independent; who’s not afraid to be themselves. Someone who is going to stick around and not flake on me.”

Blair O., 27 – “Once you know me, don’t expect anything else. If you like me and I like you, nothing else matters. You know what I want in a girl? Let me drink beer and smoke weed every day.”

Chris M., 25 – “Someone who wants something serious; is a loving, caring “ride or die” chick; has a sense of humor; can handle my sarcasm (since I can be very sarcastic); someone who likes to have fun; likes intimacy (believe me there are some that don’t); someone who values their life and doesn’t take things for granted; appreciative of each other; spontaneous; intelligent; attractive.”

David G., 27 – “Can I see myself with her past next week? Do I enjoy her company as much as she does mine? Does the thought of her make me smile? Is she jealous, and if so, how jealous?”

Jacob K., 27 – “The things guys look for in a girlfriend are just about the same as what you would look for in a boyfriend. Someone smart, funny, with some or most of the same interests.”

Mark H., 18 – “Girls have to be easy to get along with and have a good sense of humor. A girl who can have fun and be spontaneous is always good too.”

Anonymous, 30 – “She either appeals to you, or she doesn’t.”

Toby B., 27 – “Every girl is different, and of course every person has their list of things they don’t like, and their list of things they will deal with. Foremost would have to be personality.”

G. Rowden, 26 – “I like a chick who can be social but also enjoys laying her head on me and watching a movie. A chick who can be herself, who is independent but wants to be with me too. I like a girl who I can talk to about shit. I like a girl who likes me for me (even all my bad shit) and doesn’t care.”

Scotty H., 30 – “She has to be funny, respectful, sexual, sexy, smart, and knows how to take care of herself.”

2. What matters most, looks or personality?

Chris D., 29 – “They both matter, but personality goes a lot further. Would I rather spend my time with someone who is a 10 in looks and a 5 in personality? Or would I rather spend my time with someone who is a little more balanced?  I’ll take the latter any day.”

Blair O., 27 – “Personality. Because out there is the hottest girl on the planet, and some guy is so fucking sick of her stupidity.”

Chris M., 25 – “Personality! If you’re hot as fuck, but you’re a bitch, I don’t give a shit if your Halley Barry (who is a bitch)… I wouldn’t want to be with you.”

David G., 27 – “Personality, because looks don’t last forever and beauty is only skin deep.”

Jacob K., 27 – “What really matters is that you’re confident. Looks and personality mean nothing if you’re not confident with who you are and how you look.”

Mark H., 18 – “Personality is more important; looks can only take you so far. No one wants to be in a relationship with a needy bitch.”

Anonymous, 30 – “Personality over looks. But looks do help.”

Toby B., 27 – “Personality is more important than looks.”

G. Rowden, 26 – “Personality by far. Sure, looks matter – you must have that attraction, but personality is who the girl really is and if she’s hot as fuck but dumb, and I can’t talk to her, then it won’t work.”

Scotty H., 30 – “Personality first, but looks help.”

3. Do guys want “girly” girls or “chill” girls?

Chris D., 29 – “Me, personally, I can’t stand girly girls. That’s really just preference though, a lot of guys don’t give a shit.”

Blair O., 27 – “Just be yourself.”

Chris M., 25 – “Personally, I like a woman who is as chill and laid back as I am , but has some girly tendencies, I guess you could say.”

David G., 27 – “I like my woman feminine, but down. Throw on some makeup, put on a skirt, and show some pride in your appearance so I can be extra proud when I flaunt you. But don’t be scared to throw back a beer too!”

Jacob K., 27 – “What is more important is that you be yourself (as cheesy as that may sound). If you’re trying to be someone or something that you’re not, then it is not going to work.”

Mark H., 18 – “Most guys like a combination of both chill and girly. Most guys don’t like high maintenance, but at the same time they like a girl who can get dressed up and look girly on certain occasions.”

Anonymous, 30 – “Chill girls – girly is cute for a little while, but it gets old.”

Toby B., 27 – “I’d rather have both, but if I had to choose, I’d choose a chill girl. Less to really honestly have to worry about.”

G. Rowden, 26 – “I like chill chicks. I like going out – don’t get me wrong – but a chill chick would be happy just watching a movie at home with me and be happy.”

Scotty H., 30 – “I like a girly girl who knows how to chill.”

4. If you’re trying to pick up a girl at a bar or a club or wherever… what are some things you’d do to let her know you’re interested?

Chris D., 29 – “Just think about how someone who is truly interested in something or anything acts… TALK TO HER. That’s it. I talk and be myself and am honest no matter where it might get me. I have found that girls appreciate that more than anything really.”

Blair O., 27 –  “I fuck this up all the time. I’m a sucker…  I fall in love with every girl… then I fall on my face. I don’t know, I just start talking to them.”

Chris M., 25 – “Well it’s always nice to get a free drink, so I’d buy her a drink and make my way over there. If they’re nice enough to talk to you then that’s where you start… many ways to approach women in a bar or a club… too many to list.”

David G., 27 – “If I’m trying to pick up a girl at a club or a bar, it is just to fuck…”

Jacob K., 27 – “It’s the little things. He smiles a lot when he talks to you, or, he works subtle suggestions of sex into conversations (nothing overly graphic, some of it comical, and most of it is easily dismissed). Also, the tone and pitch of his voice will change when he’s talking.”

Mark H., 18 – “If a guy likes you, the biggest sign is that he will call or text you first. Often… possibly even daily.”

Anonymous, 30 – “Just try to hold a conversation with her… if she responds and returns any signals, than it’s a green light. If not, it is a good indication that you should just move on.”

Toby B., 27 – “Honestly I haven’t been brave enough to pick up on a girl at a bar or a club.”

G. Rowden, 26 – “I try to make her smile and talk to her. I’d try to get close to her and look into her eyes. Girls know the feeling that I’m interested.”

Scotty H., 30 – “I’d tell her that I want to see her again.”

5. Is it ok for women to ask the guy out and/or make the first move?

Chris D., 29 – “That shit is totally cool… and sexy. Nothing is hotter than a girl who takes what she wants. That’s american culture for you though.”

Blair O., 27 – “I wish women would. It seems like every girl I know is burnt out from guys hitting on them.”

Chris M., 25 – “Rarely have I ever seen a woman ask a man out. It’s ok, I suppose – more props to her. I guess guys get caught up in the idea that it is the man’s job to ask and the woman’s job to decide if she’s interested… like a natural selection courtesy.”

David G., 27 – “It is definitely ok for the woman to ask the guy out – but slow down on making the first move. Let the man make the move.”

Jacob K., 27 – ” In my opinion, it has always been okay for the woman to make the first move.”

Mark H., 18 – “It’s okay for the girl to ask the guy out on a date… the guy may never man up and ask, but the feelings towards each other may be mutual.”

Anonymous, 30 – “Yes, we’re not in the 1950’s.”

Toby B., 27 – “Hell yes, it’s ok! Why not?”

G. Rowden, 26 – “The girl can make the first move, I have no problem with that. But if we go out, I’d pay for everything and make it a night the girl would enjoy.”

Scotty H., 30 – “Yes. I would respect her for it.”

6. Does a guy lose respect for a girl if she sleeps with him on the first night?

Chris D., 29 – “For me, personally, no. I don’t understand why sex is so taboo.”

Blair O., 27 – “Sex is America’s past time. If someone likes you, they will kiss you on your vagina.”

Chris M., 25 – “I wouldn’t lose respect for a woman, only because I know that shit happens. From my experience, if it does happen, it’s usually because there is some chemistry at work there.”

David G., 27 – “YES. I mean, if I wanted something more from her, then I just lost that thrill. For me, it’s the thrill of the chase, but if she gives it up before the chase even starts, then I’m done.”

Jacob K., 27 – “It’s not a matter of respect, we just know how hard we have to work to get you to do the horizontal tango. Giving it up on the first date just means you’re making it too easy.”

Mark H., 18 – “When it comes to a girl who a guy would want to be in a relationship with, yes. Guys like a challenge, don’t give it up so easily.”

Anonymous, 30 – “Yes. It makes you wonder how many first dates she’s been on.”

Toby B., 27 – “First off, it depends on how long you have been talking. I fell hard for someone who pretty much gave it up on the first date and we were together for a while. Just because she gives it up on the first date, doesn’t mean there is a reason to look down on her.”

G. Rowden, 26 – “I don’t lose respect for a girl who gives it up on the first night. If she wants that and feels that comfortable, then why would I lose respect? I’d take it as a compliment.”

Scotty H., 30 – “I respect her more for doing what she wants.”

7. What does it really mean when a guy tells you “I don’t have time for a girlfriend/relationship”?

Chris D., 29 – “Either he really doesn’t have time because he works 60 or more hours a week, or, he just wants to get laid.”

Blair O., 27 – “It’s hard to find the time, as much as I want a real relationship.”

Chris M., 25 – “I have said before that I didn’t have time for a girlfriend, but it was because I was working two jobs at one time, had an internship and went to school full-time. To make a woman happy requires time and effort. If I was really into her, I’d want to make my best effort, and I couldn’t do that if I had that much on my plate at one time.”

David G., 27 – “No, it is not bullshit, sometimes a relationship isn’t the man’s priority at the time.”

Jacob K., 27 – “It’s bullshit for a guy to say he doesn’t have time for a girlfriend. If he really likes you, he will make time to hang out.”

Mark H., 18 – “Sometimes it can be true, but I’d say most of the time it is just another excuse.”

Anonymous, 30 – “80% of the time, it is bullshit.”

Toby B., 27 – “Is he a true professional, or a part-time guy who would rather spend hours upon hours playing WoW [World of Warcraft]? He may still not know how to handle himself because he is still young.”

G. Rowden, 26 – “If the guy truly cares about the girl, he will make time for her, no matter what.”

Scotty H., 30 – “Yes, that is major bullshit.”

8. How long would it take before you considered making your relationship official once you’ve been dating?

Chris D., 29 – “That’s a tricky question for me. It depends on the connection I guess. With my last girlfriend, I knew we would be going out the second I started talking to her. We talked about it after about 2 weeks, I believe.”

Blair O., 27 – “That’s not a matter of time. You should just talk about it. Sex is a big part of that question. I think you should make your intentions clear before you start fucking someone.”

Chris M., 25 – “Circumstantial. If we feel the same way it could be a month to a few months. Communication is the key to figuring that one out.”

David G., 27 – “That depends on the people. I’d give it a few weeks or dates. Pretty much once the sex begins.”

Jacob K., 27 – “That’s something I’m up in the air about. How long have you been dating? How often do you seen each other? It’s also not something that one of you decides. You both have to be on the same page as to where the relationship is.”

Mark H., 18 – “Before making it official, you should date the girl for at least a couple of weeks to a month. You have to make sure your feelings for each other are mutual and strong enough to get into an actual relationship.”

Anonymous, 30 – “If you can continue to be around her, and you see her more than once a week, it’s pretty much official.”

Toby B., 27 – “Every experience is different. Even though you may be banging the crap out of each other every other night, it doesn’t mean your official. When the parents get involved, then I think it is closer to official.”

G. Rowden, 26 – “It depends on the girl and how I feel about her and how she feels about me. I’ve waited a month, and I have also made it official the day we started dating.”

Scotty Hill , 30– “Depends on the girl… three to four months.

9. Does commitment scare you?

Chris D., 29 – “No. Someone who can’t commit to anything gets nowhere in life.”

Blair O., 27 – “The older I get, no.”

Chris M., 25 – “No, it doesn’t.”

David G., 27 – “Nah, I ain’t scared of shit.”

Jacob K., 27 – “Personally, I don’t believe in a fear of commitment. I do however believe in a fear of intimacy. Commitment is the easy part. But to be truly intimate with someone means you have to be vulnerable and that is harder and scarier than anything.”

Mark H., 18 – “Commitment can be scary. A lot of guys are afraid of being tied down and losing opportunities to possibly meet other, better girls (as bad as it sounds).”

Anonymous, 30 – “No.”

Toby B., 27 – “Some days more than others.”

G. Rowden, 26 – “No, not at all. Why would I be? If I like a girl at my age and where I am in my life, commitment doesn’t scare me at all.”

Scotty H., 30 – “No, not at all.”

10. What’s more important – success or love?

Chris D., 29 – “Love. What’s success without love? Lonely. But love without success can still be joyful.”

Blair O., 27 – “I’m never going be the president, so, love. “

Chris M., 25 – “I think love is definitely more important, hands down. As long as I got the love there, I can get through anything and we can over come anything together. I can die with love and happiness in my heart, but I can’t take my money with me when I die.”

David G., 27 – “Sucksex! Lol. Nah. Um, that’s a great question…”

Jacob K., 27 – “Success means nothing if you have no one to share it with.

Mark H., 18 – “Love is more important than success in the end. Just because your partner is successful, does not mean you will be happy together.”

Anonymous, 30 – “Success.”

Toby B., 27 – “Success, of course. Love can come second if you ever want to provide for the one you love.”

G. Rowden, 26 – “Love. I don’t care about success. If I love the girl, then I love her – I don’t care about anything else.”

Scotty H., 30 – “Love. But that’s me.”

SUMMARY:

So basically, ladies, what can be determined from the above responses, is simple: If a guy likes you, there is no need for these questions to be asked at all. The general consensus is that if they like you, they will let it be known. Maybe we should all just take a step back and look at their actions (or inactions for that matter) at face value. Actions speak louder than words… Don’t get so wrapped up in what they have to say, but focus rather on the things that they do.

(Express written consent was given by the participants/volunteers of this survey in order to obtain and use their personal information. Participation in this survey was completely voluntary. Individuals who wished to have their responses submitted anonymously, have been respected. This survey was not conducted by WordPress.com nor any of its affiliates.)

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19 Responses to “We Asked 10 Guys… They Answered.”

  1. Guys! Do you have any questions that you would want women to answer truthfully? I have a panel of women lined up and ready to answer. Let me know what you’re dying to know!!!

  2. Whoever this Jacob K. person is definitely has the best and most honest answers I’ve ever seen/heard come from a man. I’m sure you’re making so woman VERY happy! lol Great questions Megan… and the answers are definitely surprising, most girls wouldn’t think that men would honestly feel the way they do.

  3. Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wished to say that I have really enjoyed surfing around your blog posts. After all I will be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again soon!

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