Date 5 of 30: Time To Shit Or Get Off The Pot…


So by date #4 with any given individual, I feel like enough time has been invested by both parties to make an informed decision as to where it should go moving forward. It is a crossroads, so-to-speak; time to make it or break it; time to shit, or get off the pot.

By the end of date #4, you should be able to determine if you like the other person or not. And by this, I do not mean “Yeah, I like hanging out with him/her”. You should be able to know whether or not you could see yourself in a relationship with the other person. Further, you should definitely know if a relationship is something you WANT.

Obviously, if you are on the market in the dating scene, it is highly probable that you are ultimately seeking a relationship. Otherwise, you are simply playing the game, only looking for commitment-free, casual sex. While some people are ok with a “friends with benefits” arrangement, most (specifically women) are not ok with this notion.

By the end of date #4, undoubtedly, some form of physicality has occurred. It can be as innocent as hand holding or cuddling; it can be the expected hug or kiss; and, in some cases it could be the extreme end of the spectrum, where the two parties have had sex. In any instance, you should be able to judge for yourself as to whether or not this is something you want more of; something you enjoy; something you want to pursue further.

Women, unfortunately, are emotional creatures. We are ruled and governed by our feelings (we have hormones to thank for this).  Sexual encounters greatly amplify these feelings, whether we like it or not. This is probably why women start to press on the issue of being in a relationship when things are taken to a physical level.

If it is obvious that there is physical and intellectual attraction on both sides, what is the big deal about making things official? I mean, the whole point of dating is to look around until you find someone who you would want to be with for any extended period of time. When you find someone who fits all the criteria you’re looking for, what is it that holds people (specifically men) back from making a commitment. The majority of men say that they aren’t afraid of commitment (See “We Asked 10 Guys… They Answered“), yet they act like they are. Being in a committed relationship doesn’t mean marriage and children… it means not dating or sleeping with anyone else.

So when is the right time to put someone on the spot about where a potential relationships stands…? As a woman, I like to know where I stand. I can turn the switch on or off with the blink of an eye… tell me you want me or tell me you don’t… It doesn’t matter which one you choose, but for the love of God, choose one so that I know what to feel or what not to feel.

I can’t be strung along by every guy that comes my way, so after about a month vested into this guy, I’m making him choose. Largely in part, because I don’t want to let myself get hurt if he decides that a relationship is not what he wants. So this might be the last time I write about the wonderful guy (Profile #2 from “The Informant“), as I told him he needs to think about what he wants from this. Like my title says, it is definitely time to shit or get off the pot at this point… We shall see what he decides.

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