Date 7 Of 30: Friends With Benefits


Friends With Benefits is defined by urbandictionary.com as the following:

Friends (With Benefits)

“Two friends who have a sexual relationship without being emotionally involved. Typically two good friends who have casual sex without a monogamous relationship or any kind of commitment.”

For some people, a friends with benefits situation is very tough to handle because they are often misled (due to lack of communication of their intentions) and emotions get involved. Others are more than ok with this notion, as long as boundaries are established upfront. Recently, I asked 10 women if they would be ok with something along these lines (1,000 Hits! You Guys Get A Sex Questionnaire!), and the result was a 50/50 even split. I reside in the 50% of women who are ok with FWB, and recently have come to find myself in a situation such as this as a result of Date 6 of 30: Age – Is It Really Just A Number?.

Now although it’s true, I would really love to be in a relationship (in general – not necessarily with this person), I have biological needs that have to be met. I’ll admit it – I like sex… a lot. Just because I’m single, doesn’t mean that I’m going to practice abstinence. But it also doesn’t mean I’m just going to have sex with any guy that comes my way either. That would make me a whore – which I am proud to say, I am not.

I actually have a very high opinion of this person – especially for the fact that he is mature enough (despite his age) to identify what he wants (and doesn’t want for the matter, i.e. a relationship) and was able to communicate it clearly to me upfront. This is EXTREMELY rare to find in a guy because many of them will try to keep you on their “hook” (yes, that’s a “How I Met Your Mother” reference)

How I Met Your Mother

just so that they can continue to get what they want out of it, never stopping to think about how it will affect the other person involved. This is how some people are misled into thinking that there is relationship potential out of a FWB situation – emotions get involved, people get hurt, then there becomes an awkward resentment in the end when a relationship fails to evolve.

The prospect of truth and honesty from this person, is absolutely priceless to me. I’ve always said I’m fine with FWB, but it has to be made clear from the get-go. So now that boundaries have been established, I’m actually quite excited about this whole thing. I’m definitely sexually attracted to this person and I truly enjoy both the physicality of this friendship as well as the friendship itself (on a platonic level). And besides, if I can’t find Mr. Right just yet, there’s nothing that says I can’t have fun in the meantime with Mr. Wrong…

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2 Comments to “Date 7 Of 30: Friends With Benefits”

  1. Really interesting. I would love for you to post something about this on my blog which is written by readers!

    http://nycdatestory.wordpress.com/

    Check it out and let me know.

    NYCGirl

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