Posts tagged ‘Advice’

January 28, 2012

The Real Reason Men Love Sex


I continue to find topics to write about that are not just informative for my readers, but they end up being extremely insightful to myself as well. An article I just came across simply began with “You already think you know why men love sex, don’t you?”. Naturally, the first thing that popped into my head was: “Because it feels good…?” The author had determined that most women would automatically answer with something along the lines of: “Because they’re horny, rutting pigs”.

To my surprise, there is a deeper underlying reason as to why men love sex…

“It’s true, sometimes [they] just want you naked on the kitchen table for the sheer fun of it, and sometimes [they’re] so turned on by you that the “ending” is [their] ultimate goal, but that is not why [they] love the act of having sex or why [they] always seem to be trying to get into [our] pants.

[Men] want something much more important than a great orgasm when [they] have sex, although a great orgasm is always a nice bonus.

The reality is that [their] emotional needs get met when [they] please [us].

Men love sex because it makes [them] feel like men.

When [they] see [their] woman lying on the bed shaking, exhausted, and completely fulfilled, [they] have all the assurance [they] need in life about [their] worth and abilities.

There’s not much this feeling can’t solve for [them].

  • Stress from [their] boss
  • Money issues
  • Family discord
  • An upcoming deadline
  • A painful past

…are all pretty much dissolved when [we] are screaming [their] name and losing [our] capacity for lucid speech.

Why else would [they] always try to convince [us] to come to bed with [them] when [we’re] stressed? It works for [them]!”

Apparently, women are men’s “best form of therapy” and we have “the ability to remove stress, make [men] feel invincible, and bring about [their] happiness without having to leave the house or spend a dime”. The author goes on to say that there are men out there “that need [our] emotional support.”

You can read the full article and more here: http://humansarestoopid.com/mistakes-women-make-why-men-love-sex/

 

 

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January 17, 2012

The Reasoning


PlentyofFish

I recently found an article online that offers women insight as to why we attract the wrong type of men (direct link here). Personally, I found many of these topics to hold true in my own dating life.

Image representing OkCupid as depicted in Crun...

Even before I began this blog, I had gone on multiple dates with individuals I had met on Plenty of Fish and OkCupid, with little to no avail. They always start off great, yet they deter and ultimately dissolve into nothingness.

We end up asking ourselves where we went wrong with this great potential relationship candidate. After reading this article, it seems that maybe there are some things that women do subconsciously that sabotage a would-be relationship right from the start. See how many on this list you find yourself guilty of:

 

 

#1. You don’t draw the boundaries – If a man wants to get intimate with you, he can. If he wants to disrespect you or make fun of you, he can. If he wants to say he’ll call but never does, he can. He walks all over you, because he can, and because you let him. Draw the boundaries, otherwise you’ll find that men will do WHATEVER they want to, regardless of how you feel about it.”

 

“#2. You tell them not to like you, because you don’t like yourself – You give off the vibe that you really hate yourself, and that you don’t value yourself. You downsize yourself and show your insecurities in your self-sabotaging comments and jokes that you make about yourself when you talk to men. This tells them that you are a low quality woman, and thus they treat you like one.”

~I must admit that I suffer from ridiculously low self-esteem. It’s not that I don’t like myself – as a matter of fact, I think I’m pretty fucking awesome. But I can’t seem to look in the mirror and see myself as attractive. I think many women can relate to this as we have sub-model-esque features.

 

#3. You jump into bed too early – You try to snag him by jumping into bed with him, but that only backfires when you realize that he only wanted a one night stand. NEVER become intimate with a man early on, if he is TRULY into you, he won’t make that a requirement, and will not rush into intimacy with you.”

~Guilty as charged. I like sex. Sue me. But apparently, you have to play the prude role and try to play hard to get in this field. Even though most of the men I surveyed in “We Asked 10 Guys… They Answered“, said they wouldn’t look down on a girl who gave it up right away, I think it takes the thrill of the chase away from them when we give into sex too soon.

 

#4. You don’t think you can accomplish your goals without a man – You want a house, and kids, and a stable life…and you sit there telling men how you need to settle down with a guy just to get these things. This comes across as being utterly needy and even creepy at times; and tells him that you’re not really willing to give yourself anything on your own, and instead expect a man to give you the life you desire.

 

#5. You expect commitment instantly – You just met the guy, and already you are strangling him with commitment talks and expectations. The quickest way to scare a man off is by making him feel as though you are trying to trap him; which talking about commitment does! If a man wants to commit, he doesn’t want to be told to do it; BUT wants to CHOOSE it, which you don’t allow him to do when you come on too strong in the beginning.”

~Guilty once again. These days, relationships are nothing more than a commitment so that we, as women don’t feel like men are just sticking their dicks into every woman they come in contact with. Guys see it as us trying to trap them – when the reality of it is that we’re not asking to get married or have their children. We just want to know that you aren’t doing and saying the same things with 5 other women. I still don’t feel like it’s a bad thing to ask, as I did in “Date 5 of 30: TIme to Shit or Get Off the Pot” . Perhaps this is why I’m single. Duly noted.

 

#6. You’re extremely bossy- You talk about all the things he has to do for you, and get for you, and he thinks you’re just a spoiled brat who needs to grow up. He’s never going to let you boss him around or tell him what to do, and will probably throw that in your face just to teach you a lesson.”

 

#7. You don’t give him space – A man will become a complete jerk when you deprive him of space and when you deprive him of his “personal” time alone and away from you. Men will literally ARGUE and cause a huge fight just to have a valid reason to leave you, because otherwise, they’d never be able to get some time alone.”

 

#8. You’re too touchy – He says one small thing and it offsets you so much that you start crying, or argue for 3 hours about it, and you just can’t drop anything or let anything go. He doesn’t want to feel like he’s walking on egg shells around you, so instead he will just dump you on the sidelines and find someone who isn’t so touchy.”

~Now I’m not necessarily the kind of girl that cries because my feelings have been hurt, but that’s not to say that I don’t know a lot of women who do… I admit to getting a little defensive at times, but not really to the point where I’m crying over it. Men just need to realize that we are overly emotional and sensitive; just like women have come to realize that men can be insensitive pricks who could give two shits about our feelings.

 

#9. You let him take you for granted – You give him so much so early on, without him having to EARN it or WORK for it, that he starts to take you for granted. His ego is inflated because he is getting you to do everything for him, without working for it…thus he literally doesn’t appreciate you, and you mean nothing to him…because it’s just YOU who is chasing him. He’ll treat you like crap as a result.”

 

#10. You let men determine your mood – Your mood depends entirely on what other men think, and whether or not they are attracted etc… Thus, if you are rejected or if he doesn’t call you…you’ll instantly feel down. Likewise, if he talks to you for a while, or if he says he likes you…your mood elevates.

Men notice this behavior and may play around with you just to get a reaction…which in turn means they are not genuine but instead are entertaining themselves at the cost of your pain.”

~Dammit. Guilty again. I have no idea why men play such a huge role on my happiness level. I think a lot of women can relate to this.

 

#11. You’re too submissive – While it’s true that men want to be in control; the issue is that when you are TOO submissive men become control hungry because they become used to the idea of controlling you. Thus, when you try to gain control, they only become worse and try to control you more, because their comfort zone rests in having control over everything because you started off being submissive and thus conditioned them to only want you when you are submissive.

This is why they never let you make decisions, never let you have any say or any control…and in turn just abuse you when you try to put your foot down.”

~Can’t really say that this applies to me, as the only time I’m truly submissive is in the bedroom. I am a very typical Type A personality, alpha-female – and as such the only place where I relinquish control is behind closed doors.

 

#12. You tell men to judge you – You talk about your problems, your past relationships, your mistakes etc… and then you ask him what he thinks or what his input is; which is like asking him to judge you. He, of course, WILL judge you, and then will sound like a complete jerk. BUT, that’s your fault, for giving him permission to criticize and judge you so heavily to begin with.”

 

#13. You don’t uphold your morals – You tell a guy that you’re a good and clean girl; yet not even 5 minutes later you are acting completely different just to try [to] win him over, when your first approach doesn’t work. Men won’t want to commit to women who can’t uphold their morals, and would often view these women as being [low-class], easy takes.”

 

#14. You change everything just to be with a guy – It’s not natural that you’re suddenly interested in everything he is, and he notices that it’s fake. He knows that you’re just pretending and are altering your entire life just to try [to] show him that you have things in common. Some guys may take advantage of this in a bad way when they realize it, and may introduce you to bad habits, poor choices, and other things to get what they want.”

 

#15. You don’t stand up for yourself – He’ll pick on you or do something that is completely rude, and you don’t stand up for yourself, and don’t speak up to let him know that it’s something you dislike or that it’s something unacceptable. When you don’t stand up for yourself, you tell a man that it’s alright to continue the behavior, because he doesn’t know otherwise, and will probably increase the poor behavior as a result.”

 

#16. You don’t respect yourself – Instead, you expect men to respect you, because that’s the only way you can feel good, and the only way you can get respect. BUT, it starts from within, and a man will NEVER respect a woman who does not respect herself…because he doesn’t have a REASON to. The ONLY reason a man would do something, is if a woman makes it clear by doing it herself first.”

 

#17. You initiate everything – Even if he LETS you initiate something, it’s only because it’s easier for him, and it means he can get what he wants with little to no effort. It’s every guys dream to have easy girls chasing after them, which is what you appear to be when you initiate everything. Men who are genuine will ALWAYS initiate the important things first, such as getting your phone number, taking you on a date, starting a relationship, moving in together etc…”

~I don’t know how to feel about this one. I do initiate things quite often – but according to the guys that I surveyed in “We Asked 10 Guys… They Answered“, they say its fine for the woman to make the first move. Perhaps that is only with regards to making the FIRST move.

 

#18. You try to change him – If you HAVE to change a man, he’s clearly not the right guy for you! Put it this way: if he was what you wanted, would you have to change him? While it’s true that everyone can IMPROVE, nagging a man to change is like saying that who they are right now is not acceptable to you. If it’s not acceptable, why are you chasing him? He won’t change just because you come along and tell him to; instead you’ll probably change before he does!”

~Never ever try to change a man. You will fail horribly, he will despise you for it and then you will only blame yourself. It’s a vicious cycle.

 

#19. You fail to leave when he doesn’t commit –He dodges the topic of commitment, doesn’t want to talk about the future, and runs away from the idea of marriage. BUT, you stick around still thinking that it will work out, and that he will do it…but this is when you SHOULD leave. You only hurt yourself more when you stay with a man who clearly has no intentions of committing, simply because you HOPE he will.”

~I am horrible about this. In “We Asked 10 Guys… They Answered“, it was made very clear that more often than not, if a guy tells you that he ‘doesn’t have time for a relationship’, he is full of it, and is simply making excuses in an attempt to spare your feelings.

 

#20. You accept the “friendship zone” – He says that he isn’t ready to date again, and tells you that he just wants to stay single. He also tells you that he just wants to be friends instead…and OH BOY, did you ever throw yourself under the bus by accepting that kind of a LIE from men. It’s a HUGE lie and an excuse when men say that they don’t want a relationship now, because they ARE looking, but they just don’t want to commit to you.”

~If a guy really sees nothing as relationship potential, I would MUCH rather be told up front that they’d really like to just be friends. Personally, I can flip the friendship switch on or off pretty easily; I just need to be told to do so. Otherwise, the woman in me is just going to keep developing feelings and emotions and attractions.

 

#21. You want men to fix your life – You have all kinds of problems and expect men to come in like a valiant knight or magical prince charming and fix everything. Men sense this, and instead of adding to your problems, they rebel and ADD to your problems. They don’t want to be treated like a doormat that you step on and wipe your feet off on; and they don’t want to be part of all the drama that is your own life which you can’t even fix on your own.”

 

#22. You use men – Men get the vibe that you use them, because you might only seem to be interested in their money, in their vehicle (transportation), in their connections (business, friends, hobbies etc.), or you might treat them like they are a trophy. They sense this and retaliate in turn by using you back, which means they may just use you for attention, sex, an ego boost etc…”

 

#23. You don’t deliver – You impress him when you first meet, and he gets this idea that you are this amazing chick, because you told him you were… but when he sees you the next time you are just dull, he sees right through you, and ends up thinking you don’t deliver.

But, just because you don’t deliver on all the things he wants, that doesn’t mean that he still can’t use you for something or rather, which he will, and when he’s finished he’ll dump you…which will be pretty fast.”

 

#24. You expect men to entertain you – You go out with men because you are bored, or want something to do. You are looking for entertainment, and he sees it, when you constantly ask him to take you places…and don’t really seem to be interested in him as a person, but rather seem more interested in what entertains you. This will make him start to disrespect you and lose interest, which in turn makes him not really care about hurting your feelings, because he thinks you don’t care either.”

 

#25. You never agree with men – You think they are wrong most of the time, and always argue with them. They get sick and tired of being nagged, and in turn start to act out against you, because they can’t handle it anymore. If you can’t ever agree with a man or find some common ground, it should be obvious that he in turn, won’t agree with you and will only take his side and want things his way.”

~My only comment for this one in particular is that women think they are always right and feel like they have to get the last word in edge wise. If you don’t believe me, read my female survey “We Asked 10 Women… They Answered“.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6066979

January 10, 2012

A Little Game Of “Would You Rather” – The Men Answer


Have you ever wondered what a man’s preferences really are in relation to a woman’s appearance? Well, we decided to ask 10 men what they thought in a little game that I like to call “Would You Rather”. Most men fared the same in their responses in terms of what they prefer. So unless you get one of the guys who responded in the 20th percentile, chances are that most men will have the same preferences. Enjoy!

 

1. Would you rather have a woman with large breasts or small breasts?

Large Breasts: 80%

Small Breasts: 20%

Bottom line is that men truly do prefer bigger breasts… but most of us already knew that. Looks like its time to save up for a breast augmentation, ladies. In this instance, bigger really is better.

 

2. Would you rather have a woman with a flat stomach, or is ok to have a little bit of a tummy?

Flat Stomach: 20%

Little Tummy: 80%

Surprisingly, men are ok with their women having a little bit of a tummy. So stop stressing so much about being a size 2 – chances are, your man likes you for you – tummy or not.

 

3. Would you rather have a woman with a pretty face, or an amazing body?

Pretty Face: 90%

Amazing Body: 10%

Stop focusing on your bodies so much… men are more interested in the fact that you are visually attractive in the face. A pretty face is more likely to win over your man than a perfect, banging body.

 

4. Would you rather have a woman who wears makeup, or one who wears none?

Makeup: 10%

No Makeup: 90%

Most men prefer women that don’t need to wear makeup… apparently, it’s not hot or sexy when half of your face rubs off on their shirt when you hug them.

 

5. Does it matter if a woman has cellulite or stretch marks?

Yes: 20%

No: 80%

Guys are surprisingly accepting of our bodies… flaws and all.

 

6. Do you prefer women who have faux tans or women that are pasty white?

Fake & Bake: 20%

Pale Skinned: 80%

Natural tanning is good, but the orange Oompa Loompa look is not going to attract men. So stop wasting your money at the tanning salons… Men would rather date a pasty pale girl than one with skin cancer.

 

7. Do you prefer women with acrylic (fake) nails or a natural manicure?

Acrylics: 0%

Manicure: 100%

Not one man responded with liking acrylic nails… I think it actually freaks them out a little. Stop wasting your money and grow your nails out ladies.

 

8. Is it ok for women to be muscular?

Yes: 80%

No: 20%

Now, we’re not talking body-builder status, but for the most part, men think it’s perfectly ok for their woman to be toned.

 

9. Would you rather have a woman with a flat ass or junk in the trunk?

Flat Ass: 20%

Junk in the Trunk: 80%

Men like the booty… enough said.

 

10. Do you prefer blondes or brunettes?

Blondes: 20%

Brunettes: 80%

Surprisingly, the brunettes won this round. Who ever said blondes have more fun? Looks like brunettes do…

December 19, 2011

We Asked 10 Women… They Answered.


My last blog, We Asked 10 Guys… They Answered, polled 10 men and asked them the questions that many women were dying to know the answers to. With a pretty decent response, I felt it was fair to give our 10 male panelists a chance to ask 10 questions to a panel of 10 women. Here are those results:

 
1. What do women expect out of a relationship?

Amy H., 28 – “I expect my partner to be honest and loyal. It is also important for both people in the relationship to openly communicate with each other.

Cherie, 28 – “Honesty.”

Elizabeth A., 27 – “If you’re going to get into a relationship with me, I expect that you see it going somewhere. Truly going somewhere. Assuming we have talked about what we both want out of it. But don’t get into the relationship if you aren’t thinking long-term. Especially now that I have Sophie. I guess I expect to NOT be dicked around with (hehe). Included in that is honesty and faithfulness.”

Janel F.,  27 – “I try not to “expect” anything. Expectations usually lead to disappointment.”

Lacey D., 27 – “Equality. Treat me how I treat you. Love me as much as I love you. Respect me as much as I respect you.”

Rozella T., 27 – “Love, respect, romance and faithfulness.”

Pamela, 28 – “Communication is key. Respect is a MUST. Love. Trust.”

Daria D., 21 – “Women expect honesty, faithfulness, compassion, and compromise out of a relationship.”

Zarina M., 27 – “A partner… someone who brings out the best in them and feel they do the same in their partner. Too often women expect the man to “magically” fix all their woe’s and be their night and shining armor. What they should want is a man to empower them to be the woman they have the potential of being. Also the woman should know that empowerment doesn’t meant walking all over the man once they feel empowered.”

Megan W., 27 – “After an already failed attempt at marriage, I have learned not to expect much of ANYTHING out of a relationship. When you have expectations, you are more likely to be disappointed somewhere down the line. Instead, what I expect out of a relationship is exclusivity; knowing that I’m the one you WANT to come home to.”

2. What is it going to take for me (the guy) to make you happy?

Amy H., 28 – “Be open and honest with me about everything. Be an equal partner in the relationship and accept me for who I am.”

Cherie, 28 – “Just be there for me, support me, and stay by my side… most of all, just love me.”

Elizabeth A., 27 – “I heard from a relationship counselor before that you get into a relationship to fulfill your own needs, but to make a relationship last and work, you have to fulfill the other person’s needs above your own. THAT’S real. So put my needs before your own, have empathy, and I’ll do the same for you. Don’t stand on your side of the line demanding that your needs be met first. That just leads to war.”

Janel F.,  27 – “Be honest. Communicate with me. Always stand up for me, no matter who you have to stand up to (especially your mother).  Have a sense of humor.”

Lacey D., 27 – “Honesty, love, commitment, compassion.”

Rozella T., 27 – “First reaction response: buy me shit. Real answer: respect me continuously and love me unconditionally.”

 Pamela, 28 – “I have so many answers for this question, but… An equal relationship. Doing things for each other, with each other.”

Daria D., 21 – “To make me happy it takes someone who makes time for me, faithfulness, humor, and thoughtfulness.”

Zarina M., 27 – “A man should never be the one to make a woman happy, a woman needs to be happy within herself before a man can be the delicious frosting on her happy cake. This being said… Be a MAN and her the WOMAN! Yes open doors and all that jazz, but don’t let a woman bully you and you be a ninny. She will quickly lose respect and in turn you lose your man card in the relationship. Hold me to a high standard, make me feel sexy, let me know I’m yours and no one else can give you what i can.”

Megan W., 27 – “Talk to me. Even more importantly, listen to me when I do talk to you. Communicate with me and compromise when need be. Be playful and affectionate with me. Just hold me and be there for me when I need you. Make me feel special and loved. These are the little things that let me know that you actually care about me.”

3. Do you like me for me – the good AND the bad?

Amy H., 28 – “Well of course I don’t like the bad stuff. Who does? If I like you though, I accept who you are, good and bad. No one is perfect.”

Cherie, 28 – “Just be who you are, if they don’t like you f@ck it.”

Elizabeth A., 27 – “Weeeellll…. we like you despite the bad. And we secretly hope we can train you out of the bad…”

Janel F.,  27 – “It depends. Sometimes the bad is good because I need to be challenged. An d sometimes it makes me want to kill you. I will accept you with all your flaws, but bitch about them to my friends when you’re not around.”

Lacey D., 27 – “No, if there are bad aspects of you I do not want you. Having a kid or a busy job, losing an arm, getting sick. That’s life, and stuff happens, that’s not “bad”. if you are doing stuff you shouldn’t be doing then no, I do not want to be with you.”

Rozella T., 27 – “I’d tell that person I’m ok with the bad, but I would secretly talk shit about it to my friends behind their back.”

Pamela, 28 – “I love him for him, which means that we both take the good with the bad. When you have found that special one then it’s so much easier to take the bad and the good means that much more to us.”

Daria D., 21 – “I love the good and the bad in you, no one is perfect and in a good friendship or relationship you have to accept someone for their flaws to appreciate them.”

Zarina M., 27 – “Yes I do, otherwise I wouldn’t be here. Now leave it alone because insecurities are a total turn off – men and women alike.”

Megan W., 27 – “Of course. If the bad is more or less a part of your past, then I am likely to look beyond it. Sometimes it’s the bad things from our past that have made us the people we are today.”

4. What is your biggest relationship pet peeve? (Not something you would break up over or that you would even fight over. Just something really irksome.)

Amy H., 28 – “I hate when guys just leave their stuff out (like empty soda cans or dirty clothes) because they know I will pick it up. I’m not a maid.”

Cherie, 28 – “I hate when after fighting (and the male does wrong) guys try too  hard to make it up.”

Elizabeth A., 27 – “I HATE it when you ruin the moment… whether it be a romantic moment and you fart or burp, or when I’m about to start balling during an episode of Grey’s and you make a stupid comment about McDreamy‘s hair.”

Janel F.,  27 – “Texting or answering your phone when your with me.”

Lacey D., 27 – “Someone trying to put me in my place, not hearing my side of the argument. Thinking they are always right.”

Rozella T., 27 – “Expecting oral.”

Pamela, 28 – “Biting his nails.”

Daria D., 21 – “My biggest pet peeve in a relationship is when someone says one thing and then does another.”

Zarina M., 27 – “I’m not much for nit-picking but I’d have to say table manors. Don’t burp, fart, talk about farting, pick food off my plate with your fingers at a nice restaurant, ect.” 

Megan W., 27 – “Clean up after yourselves. Please. Seriously. For the love of God. We are not your mothers, nor do we get paid to be your maid. For those of us who already have children, its bad enough we have to pick up after them until they are old enough to do it themselves. Please don’t regress and turn back into children yourselves. Hypocrites and closed-minded people are pretty horrible too.”

5. “Everyone hates a liar. But would you rather someone tell you a white lie to spare your feelings, or would you accept brutal honesty?

Amy H., 28 – “Lie to me! If it’s not something important, like something that would change how I view you or affect me directly, just don’t worry about it. No one likes drama or unnecessary tension.”

Cherie, 28 – “The brutal honest truth… If you asked for it.”

Elizabeth A., 27 – “I’ve been lied to so many times, at this point please go with brutal honesty. But there is a way to be honest without being so brutal. I vote for that.”

Janel F.,  27 – “I need the truth. I’d rather deal with the harsh truth, then find out later I was lied to. ”

Lacey D., 27 – “Honesty. I don’t lie to you, don’t lie to me. It may hurt my feelings, but I’m an adult I’ll get over it.”

Rozella T., 27 – “Brutal honesty.”

Pamela, 28 – “Honesty.”

Daria D., 21 – “I would appreciate a white lie if it was to spare my feelings, but I would rather have brutal honesty because eventually the truth always comes out. And I’d rather hear it from them then someone else.”

Zarina M., 27 – “I’ll take brutal honesty any day. Little lies make it easier for big lies to be okay. Please be tactful, realize words can hurt and I have feelings. If you don’t like a dress on me instead of saying ‘that looks bad’ tell me ‘can you wear that red dress I love you in?’ makes the pill easier to swallow.”

egan W., 27 – “Ahh, the double-edged sword. Either way you’re screwed. Tell us the brutal truth, we get mad; lie to us, we find out the truth from someone else, and we still get mad. My advice – tread lightly on this one.”

6. Do women like douche bags or nice guys?

Amy H., 28 – “Some girls like dating douche bags because they think they can change them. As for me, I would rather date a nice guy, someone more like me that has the same morals and values.”

Cherie, 28 – “Both. Lol.”

Elizabeth A., 27 – “Nice guys, but don’t be a pushover. That gets OLD fast.”

Janel F.,  27 – “Depends on the girl. For some reason, I find that I seem to like the guys that are the biggest ass holes.”

Lacey D., 27 – “Nice guys. A man’s man. A true gentleman in society, but doesn’t take anyone’s shit.”

Rozella T., 27 – “Douche bags.”

Pamela, 28 – “I know we are all thinking that we want the nice guy, but somehow we end up with the douche bag. Haha, jk…love you babe. But the douche bag I love deep down is a nice guy.”

Daria D., 21 – “I think women like to say that they like nice guys but always fall for the douchebags…Idk their is something about assholes that turn women on, or they seem like nice guys at first then turn out to be a douchebag.”

Zarina M., 27 – “Dumb question seems to have already be answered. What WOMAN would like a douche bag? I like my man, a nice guy with a bad bone.”

Megan W., 27 – “I personally like confidence. Confidence is hot no matter what you look like. There are nice guys who are hot because they’re super confident – same goes for douche bags. There’s something about bad boys though… why are they so sexy sometimes?”

7. Do women enjoy the act of “sexting“? 

Amy H., 28 – “I personally don’t enjoy sexting. It seems cheesy.”

Cherie, 28 – “No, I am not going to get off through sexting you.”

Elizabeth A., 27 – “Depends. If it’s a guy I’m really into and we’ve been exclusively dating for a while, then bring it on! If we’re just starting out and you drunkenly sext me, I’m annoyed and will not entertain you because now all I think you’re about is getting laid.”

Janel F.,  27 – “I do! I’d rather talk dirty via text then actually talk on the phone. But some guys take me out of context and think that just because I’m a playful, flirty texter, that I wanna run off and marry them. WRONG! I’m pretty much just a tease, like most women.”

Lacey D., 27 – “If you both are really into each other, otherwise you just look like a pervert.”

Rozella T., 27 – “Yes please!”

Pamela, 28 – “Back in my dating days it was great entertainment. But nah, it’s really not my thing.”

Daria D., 21 – “I believe some women get off on sexting while others do it to keep the spark in an old relationship or do it to entertain a guy they first meet. I don’t think the majority of the women like it, I think they mainly do it for the guy.”

Zarina M., 27 – “These days girls seem to like/enjoy it. It makes them feel sexy I guess. In my opinion if you are in a relationship with a person you trust then its nice to know your wanted. Sexting with a random is classless and unladylike.”

Megan W., 27 – “I think this is my biggest dating pet peeve ever. Sexting is hands down the biggest turn off for me. I hate it.”

8. Do women really enjoy anal sex?

Amy H., 28 – “I do not enjoy anal, but I can’t speak for all women. I think that some women engage in anal sex to make their man happy.”

Cherie, 28 – “Personally… no.”

Elizabeth A., 27 – “No.”

Janel F.,  27 – “I have met ONE that does. Personally, the thought makes me wanna vomit.”

Lacey D., 27 – “F*** no. Who wants to put their thing where stuff comes out? Its painful and screws up your bowel system. I don’t know how gay guys do it. Props to them.”

Rozella T., 27 – “Hell no, and the one’s that actually do are secretly gay men.”

Pamela, 28 – “If its done right then it can actually be nice. But it’s definitely not my favorite.”

Daria D., 21 – “I know some women love anal sex, while others hate it. Anal is for some women while not for others that’s for sure. I think it has a lot to do with how sexually open the woman is.”

Zarina M., 27 – “Depends on the couple… next topic.”

Megan W., 27 – “Um… I dare any of you men to take one up the ass and then tell us how you like it… No, not many women do – and if they do, they are either lying, are in the porn industry, or you have a small penis. When a girl does allow this, it’s generally because she likes you and wants to please you. You should tell your woman thank you if they let you do this.”

9. Why are bitches crazy? 

Amy H., 28 – “If you keep finding yourself in relationships with crazy bitches, date someone who isn’t necessarily your “type.” If a woman goes crazy when she was previously normal, take a long look in the mirror and maybe you will find the cause of her craziness.”

Cherie, 28 – “Because you men made us that way.”

Elizabeth A., 27 – “Because men have this thing where they wanna have sex with you but don’t wanna be with you. Yet, for us (me) my heart is in my vagina, so if you’re sleeping with me, I’m probably falling for you. This paradox of feelings/non-feelings and sex makes us insecure which tends to equal crazy. So knock it off.”

Janel F.,  27 – “Because men make us this way.”

Lacey D., 27 – “We are crazy because of the hormones we are born with. We have to be able to create life and push it out of us. Then, try to make sure our spawn has a good and stable upbringing by having a reliable father. We nag and act crazy at our men because we want them to be a good role model. We figure how you treat us, is how you will treat our kids in the future. It’s a subconscious survival mechanism that all women use whether we actually want children or not.”

Rozella T., 27 – “I’ll go with the cliche answer… because men make us that way.”

Pamela, 28 – “We are born that way. Nothing we can do about it besides find a good man to make up the difference.”

Daria D., 21 – “Haha I think bitches are crazy because of insecurities or because of their thought process (mental health).”

Zarina M., 27 – “Find me a woman who isn’t at little crazy and I’ll find you a man who does everything right (when pigs fly). Depends on how much crazy you can handle.”

Megan W., 27 – “For every crazy bitch out there, there is a man who did something somewhere along the way to plant the seed of insecurity within a woman’s mind (which, oddly enough, translates to crazy). Sucks, but it’s true.”

10. Why must women always be right and have the last word in everything?

Amy H., 28 – “You really shouldn’t keep track of who won or lost a fight, but focus on the issue causing the problem instead. If someone really is saying “I’m always right” or has to have the last word, that’s really a maturity problem and not so much a gender problem.”

Cherie, 28 – “I think that one is genetically installed, like men and their selective hearing!”

Elizabeth A., 27 – “Because we’re always right and you usually need to be reminded of that fact.”

Janel F.,  27 – “Good question. I don’t really know. But I have been told that this describes me perfectly.”

Lacey D., 27 – “See my answer to #9, above.”

Rozella T., 27 – “Because if we don’t and just smile and nod our head, you better sleep with one eye open.”

Pamela, 28 – “Usually we are right anyway and we just want to make sure you hear it to the end.”

Daria D., 21 – “I think this one depends on the chick. If the person is an outspoken individual they tend to always need to be right. If it’s a shy person I don’t believe them to always need to have the last word, or be right. Definitely depends on the person.”

Zarina M., 27 – “I don’t want to risk the chance of being wrong, so I decline to answer. But find a man with sense and the ability to put it into words, and I may admit he’s right (not that I’m wrong).” 

Megan W., 27 – “Hahahaha! Although I hate to admit it, I catch myself doing this all the time. I’m not sure why I do it, but I constantly find myself trying to get the last word in. It’s usually because I feel that deep down, I am wittier and more eloquent with my wording, and the things I retaliate with are far more superior to your elementary grammar. Basically, I guess its my goal to shut you up.”

 
 
SUMMARY:

Most women can agree that they want similar things from a relationship. Honesty, faithfulness and communication was a pretty common theme amongst these 10 women. When it comes down to sexual preferences, well… it’s just that. Everyone has their preferences and there will never be a “standard” of what women enjoy. Each one is a little different and a little unique. The main thing to remember with women is that they LOVE to talk to you! Women are willing to talk to you about damn near anything – just ASK US! Women just want to feel loved and needed and appreciated. But you can’t just pretend – you need to show us and make us believe that you feel this way towards us. Acceptance and equality are key. Women are very maternal by nature; we nurture, we care, we love… we just want it reciprocated. It’s really not too much to ask to allow us to love you and be loved in return.

 
 

(Express written consent was given by the participants/volunteers of this survey in order to obtain and use their personal information. Participation in this survey was completely voluntary. Individuals who wished to have their responses submitted anonymously, have been respected. This survey was not conducted by WordPress.com nor any of its affiliates.)

December 8, 2011

We Asked 10 Guys… They Answered.


As a single woman, all too often we find ourselves crying on the shoulders of our girlfriends, asking ourselves and each other the questions we have about men and relationships. Sadly, asking ourselves these things ultimately gets us nowhere and we are left with unanswered questions. So we drafted up a list of our 10 most frequently asked questions and asked guys to answer them as truthfully as possible. These are the results, straight from a guy’s perspective:

1. What do you look for in a girlfriend? 

Chris D., 29 – “Someone who I can still be myself around and doesn’t expect me to change the person I am or want to become. Looks matter too obviously. Sex has to be good. Someone who is chill and independent; who’s not afraid to be themselves. Someone who is going to stick around and not flake on me.”

Blair O., 27 – “Once you know me, don’t expect anything else. If you like me and I like you, nothing else matters. You know what I want in a girl? Let me drink beer and smoke weed every day.”

Chris M., 25 – “Someone who wants something serious; is a loving, caring “ride or die” chick; has a sense of humor; can handle my sarcasm (since I can be very sarcastic); someone who likes to have fun; likes intimacy (believe me there are some that don’t); someone who values their life and doesn’t take things for granted; appreciative of each other; spontaneous; intelligent; attractive.”

David G., 27 – “Can I see myself with her past next week? Do I enjoy her company as much as she does mine? Does the thought of her make me smile? Is she jealous, and if so, how jealous?”

Jacob K., 27 – “The things guys look for in a girlfriend are just about the same as what you would look for in a boyfriend. Someone smart, funny, with some or most of the same interests.”

Mark H., 18 – “Girls have to be easy to get along with and have a good sense of humor. A girl who can have fun and be spontaneous is always good too.”

Anonymous, 30 – “She either appeals to you, or she doesn’t.”

Toby B., 27 – “Every girl is different, and of course every person has their list of things they don’t like, and their list of things they will deal with. Foremost would have to be personality.”

G. Rowden, 26 – “I like a chick who can be social but also enjoys laying her head on me and watching a movie. A chick who can be herself, who is independent but wants to be with me too. I like a girl who I can talk to about shit. I like a girl who likes me for me (even all my bad shit) and doesn’t care.”

Scotty H., 30 – “She has to be funny, respectful, sexual, sexy, smart, and knows how to take care of herself.”

2. What matters most, looks or personality?

Chris D., 29 – “They both matter, but personality goes a lot further. Would I rather spend my time with someone who is a 10 in looks and a 5 in personality? Or would I rather spend my time with someone who is a little more balanced?  I’ll take the latter any day.”

Blair O., 27 – “Personality. Because out there is the hottest girl on the planet, and some guy is so fucking sick of her stupidity.”

Chris M., 25 – “Personality! If you’re hot as fuck, but you’re a bitch, I don’t give a shit if your Halley Barry (who is a bitch)… I wouldn’t want to be with you.”

David G., 27 – “Personality, because looks don’t last forever and beauty is only skin deep.”

Jacob K., 27 – “What really matters is that you’re confident. Looks and personality mean nothing if you’re not confident with who you are and how you look.”

Mark H., 18 – “Personality is more important; looks can only take you so far. No one wants to be in a relationship with a needy bitch.”

Anonymous, 30 – “Personality over looks. But looks do help.”

Toby B., 27 – “Personality is more important than looks.”

G. Rowden, 26 – “Personality by far. Sure, looks matter – you must have that attraction, but personality is who the girl really is and if she’s hot as fuck but dumb, and I can’t talk to her, then it won’t work.”

Scotty H., 30 – “Personality first, but looks help.”

3. Do guys want “girly” girls or “chill” girls?

Chris D., 29 – “Me, personally, I can’t stand girly girls. That’s really just preference though, a lot of guys don’t give a shit.”

Blair O., 27 – “Just be yourself.”

Chris M., 25 – “Personally, I like a woman who is as chill and laid back as I am , but has some girly tendencies, I guess you could say.”

David G., 27 – “I like my woman feminine, but down. Throw on some makeup, put on a skirt, and show some pride in your appearance so I can be extra proud when I flaunt you. But don’t be scared to throw back a beer too!”

Jacob K., 27 – “What is more important is that you be yourself (as cheesy as that may sound). If you’re trying to be someone or something that you’re not, then it is not going to work.”

Mark H., 18 – “Most guys like a combination of both chill and girly. Most guys don’t like high maintenance, but at the same time they like a girl who can get dressed up and look girly on certain occasions.”

Anonymous, 30 – “Chill girls – girly is cute for a little while, but it gets old.”

Toby B., 27 – “I’d rather have both, but if I had to choose, I’d choose a chill girl. Less to really honestly have to worry about.”

G. Rowden, 26 – “I like chill chicks. I like going out – don’t get me wrong – but a chill chick would be happy just watching a movie at home with me and be happy.”

Scotty H., 30 – “I like a girly girl who knows how to chill.”

4. If you’re trying to pick up a girl at a bar or a club or wherever… what are some things you’d do to let her know you’re interested?

Chris D., 29 – “Just think about how someone who is truly interested in something or anything acts… TALK TO HER. That’s it. I talk and be myself and am honest no matter where it might get me. I have found that girls appreciate that more than anything really.”

Blair O., 27 –  “I fuck this up all the time. I’m a sucker…  I fall in love with every girl… then I fall on my face. I don’t know, I just start talking to them.”

Chris M., 25 – “Well it’s always nice to get a free drink, so I’d buy her a drink and make my way over there. If they’re nice enough to talk to you then that’s where you start… many ways to approach women in a bar or a club… too many to list.”

David G., 27 – “If I’m trying to pick up a girl at a club or a bar, it is just to fuck…”

Jacob K., 27 – “It’s the little things. He smiles a lot when he talks to you, or, he works subtle suggestions of sex into conversations (nothing overly graphic, some of it comical, and most of it is easily dismissed). Also, the tone and pitch of his voice will change when he’s talking.”

Mark H., 18 – “If a guy likes you, the biggest sign is that he will call or text you first. Often… possibly even daily.”

Anonymous, 30 – “Just try to hold a conversation with her… if she responds and returns any signals, than it’s a green light. If not, it is a good indication that you should just move on.”

Toby B., 27 – “Honestly I haven’t been brave enough to pick up on a girl at a bar or a club.”

G. Rowden, 26 – “I try to make her smile and talk to her. I’d try to get close to her and look into her eyes. Girls know the feeling that I’m interested.”

Scotty H., 30 – “I’d tell her that I want to see her again.”

5. Is it ok for women to ask the guy out and/or make the first move?

Chris D., 29 – “That shit is totally cool… and sexy. Nothing is hotter than a girl who takes what she wants. That’s american culture for you though.”

Blair O., 27 – “I wish women would. It seems like every girl I know is burnt out from guys hitting on them.”

Chris M., 25 – “Rarely have I ever seen a woman ask a man out. It’s ok, I suppose – more props to her. I guess guys get caught up in the idea that it is the man’s job to ask and the woman’s job to decide if she’s interested… like a natural selection courtesy.”

David G., 27 – “It is definitely ok for the woman to ask the guy out – but slow down on making the first move. Let the man make the move.”

Jacob K., 27 – ” In my opinion, it has always been okay for the woman to make the first move.”

Mark H., 18 – “It’s okay for the girl to ask the guy out on a date… the guy may never man up and ask, but the feelings towards each other may be mutual.”

Anonymous, 30 – “Yes, we’re not in the 1950’s.”

Toby B., 27 – “Hell yes, it’s ok! Why not?”

G. Rowden, 26 – “The girl can make the first move, I have no problem with that. But if we go out, I’d pay for everything and make it a night the girl would enjoy.”

Scotty H., 30 – “Yes. I would respect her for it.”

6. Does a guy lose respect for a girl if she sleeps with him on the first night?

Chris D., 29 – “For me, personally, no. I don’t understand why sex is so taboo.”

Blair O., 27 – “Sex is America’s past time. If someone likes you, they will kiss you on your vagina.”

Chris M., 25 – “I wouldn’t lose respect for a woman, only because I know that shit happens. From my experience, if it does happen, it’s usually because there is some chemistry at work there.”

David G., 27 – “YES. I mean, if I wanted something more from her, then I just lost that thrill. For me, it’s the thrill of the chase, but if she gives it up before the chase even starts, then I’m done.”

Jacob K., 27 – “It’s not a matter of respect, we just know how hard we have to work to get you to do the horizontal tango. Giving it up on the first date just means you’re making it too easy.”

Mark H., 18 – “When it comes to a girl who a guy would want to be in a relationship with, yes. Guys like a challenge, don’t give it up so easily.”

Anonymous, 30 – “Yes. It makes you wonder how many first dates she’s been on.”

Toby B., 27 – “First off, it depends on how long you have been talking. I fell hard for someone who pretty much gave it up on the first date and we were together for a while. Just because she gives it up on the first date, doesn’t mean there is a reason to look down on her.”

G. Rowden, 26 – “I don’t lose respect for a girl who gives it up on the first night. If she wants that and feels that comfortable, then why would I lose respect? I’d take it as a compliment.”

Scotty H., 30 – “I respect her more for doing what she wants.”

7. What does it really mean when a guy tells you “I don’t have time for a girlfriend/relationship”?

Chris D., 29 – “Either he really doesn’t have time because he works 60 or more hours a week, or, he just wants to get laid.”

Blair O., 27 – “It’s hard to find the time, as much as I want a real relationship.”

Chris M., 25 – “I have said before that I didn’t have time for a girlfriend, but it was because I was working two jobs at one time, had an internship and went to school full-time. To make a woman happy requires time and effort. If I was really into her, I’d want to make my best effort, and I couldn’t do that if I had that much on my plate at one time.”

David G., 27 – “No, it is not bullshit, sometimes a relationship isn’t the man’s priority at the time.”

Jacob K., 27 – “It’s bullshit for a guy to say he doesn’t have time for a girlfriend. If he really likes you, he will make time to hang out.”

Mark H., 18 – “Sometimes it can be true, but I’d say most of the time it is just another excuse.”

Anonymous, 30 – “80% of the time, it is bullshit.”

Toby B., 27 – “Is he a true professional, or a part-time guy who would rather spend hours upon hours playing WoW [World of Warcraft]? He may still not know how to handle himself because he is still young.”

G. Rowden, 26 – “If the guy truly cares about the girl, he will make time for her, no matter what.”

Scotty H., 30 – “Yes, that is major bullshit.”

8. How long would it take before you considered making your relationship official once you’ve been dating?

Chris D., 29 – “That’s a tricky question for me. It depends on the connection I guess. With my last girlfriend, I knew we would be going out the second I started talking to her. We talked about it after about 2 weeks, I believe.”

Blair O., 27 – “That’s not a matter of time. You should just talk about it. Sex is a big part of that question. I think you should make your intentions clear before you start fucking someone.”

Chris M., 25 – “Circumstantial. If we feel the same way it could be a month to a few months. Communication is the key to figuring that one out.”

David G., 27 – “That depends on the people. I’d give it a few weeks or dates. Pretty much once the sex begins.”

Jacob K., 27 – “That’s something I’m up in the air about. How long have you been dating? How often do you seen each other? It’s also not something that one of you decides. You both have to be on the same page as to where the relationship is.”

Mark H., 18 – “Before making it official, you should date the girl for at least a couple of weeks to a month. You have to make sure your feelings for each other are mutual and strong enough to get into an actual relationship.”

Anonymous, 30 – “If you can continue to be around her, and you see her more than once a week, it’s pretty much official.”

Toby B., 27 – “Every experience is different. Even though you may be banging the crap out of each other every other night, it doesn’t mean your official. When the parents get involved, then I think it is closer to official.”

G. Rowden, 26 – “It depends on the girl and how I feel about her and how she feels about me. I’ve waited a month, and I have also made it official the day we started dating.”

Scotty Hill , 30– “Depends on the girl… three to four months.

9. Does commitment scare you?

Chris D., 29 – “No. Someone who can’t commit to anything gets nowhere in life.”

Blair O., 27 – “The older I get, no.”

Chris M., 25 – “No, it doesn’t.”

David G., 27 – “Nah, I ain’t scared of shit.”

Jacob K., 27 – “Personally, I don’t believe in a fear of commitment. I do however believe in a fear of intimacy. Commitment is the easy part. But to be truly intimate with someone means you have to be vulnerable and that is harder and scarier than anything.”

Mark H., 18 – “Commitment can be scary. A lot of guys are afraid of being tied down and losing opportunities to possibly meet other, better girls (as bad as it sounds).”

Anonymous, 30 – “No.”

Toby B., 27 – “Some days more than others.”

G. Rowden, 26 – “No, not at all. Why would I be? If I like a girl at my age and where I am in my life, commitment doesn’t scare me at all.”

Scotty H., 30 – “No, not at all.”

10. What’s more important – success or love?

Chris D., 29 – “Love. What’s success without love? Lonely. But love without success can still be joyful.”

Blair O., 27 – “I’m never going be the president, so, love. “

Chris M., 25 – “I think love is definitely more important, hands down. As long as I got the love there, I can get through anything and we can over come anything together. I can die with love and happiness in my heart, but I can’t take my money with me when I die.”

David G., 27 – “Sucksex! Lol. Nah. Um, that’s a great question…”

Jacob K., 27 – “Success means nothing if you have no one to share it with.

Mark H., 18 – “Love is more important than success in the end. Just because your partner is successful, does not mean you will be happy together.”

Anonymous, 30 – “Success.”

Toby B., 27 – “Success, of course. Love can come second if you ever want to provide for the one you love.”

G. Rowden, 26 – “Love. I don’t care about success. If I love the girl, then I love her – I don’t care about anything else.”

Scotty H., 30 – “Love. But that’s me.”

SUMMARY:

So basically, ladies, what can be determined from the above responses, is simple: If a guy likes you, there is no need for these questions to be asked at all. The general consensus is that if they like you, they will let it be known. Maybe we should all just take a step back and look at their actions (or inactions for that matter) at face value. Actions speak louder than words… Don’t get so wrapped up in what they have to say, but focus rather on the things that they do.

(Express written consent was given by the participants/volunteers of this survey in order to obtain and use their personal information. Participation in this survey was completely voluntary. Individuals who wished to have their responses submitted anonymously, have been respected. This survey was not conducted by WordPress.com nor any of its affiliates.)

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