Posts tagged ‘Online Dating’

January 14, 2012

On Hiatus

So it has been brought to my attention that I have taken a two-week hiatus from going on any new dates. This is due to a multitude of reasons:

First of all, I finally got into a consistent work schedule – which is definitely a good thing. It’s good to be back to work. Granted, I’ve been working my ass off, but its good – it keeps me from getting fat and lazy.  =)

Second, is that the quality of men that I’m finding on Plenty of Fish and OkCupid is steadily declining. I’m actually compiling a post of all the ridiculous messages I get on these things. Some of them just baffle me and as a result I’m less than inclined to respond to the vast majority of them.

Finally, the connection with the guy from some of my other blog posts (i.e. Date 3 of 30, Date 4 of 30, and Date 5 of 30) seems to be dwindling as of late. He just can’t seem to figure out what the hell he wants. My best friend and roommate tells me that I should just throw in the towel and move on. But it sucks to admit defeat after you’ve invested a month into someone. Then again, I guess it’s better to give up now than continue to pursue something that isn’t reciprocated. Fuck. Unrequited feelings SUCK!

So I think I’m taking another two-week hiatus (at minimum) from the dating world. It takes a lot of time and energy to keep doing this. And honestly, rejection fucking sucks. There is no way to take the sting out of it. You always end up thinking that you’re simply not good enough. Its time to recharge and try to obtain a feeling of self-worth once again. Maybe I’ll just retire this dating blog now…? Who knows.

If any of my readers really want to see me continue this charade, then leave me some feedback and let me know. It just seems un-fulfilling and stagnant at this point.

December 5, 2011

Date Zero of Thirty or One of Thirty? That is the Question.

Now I know you’re probably thinking that the title of this post seems a little odd. After all, the whole point of my social experiment was to go on 30 Dates in 30 Weeks. Technically, yes I had a date last night… but there are circumstances surrounding the build up of this date that makes me think twice about counting it as one of my 30. Further, it seems that this date has opened up a whole new can of worms in terms of what are the ground rules/guidelines to this dating idea (this will be explained and outlined in a later post).

First off, I sought this individual out on Plenty of Fish; until I messaged him, he had no idea I even existed. This is generally a pretty good sign that a girl is interested you online. I wasn’t even thinking about the 30 Dates in 30 Weeks thing that I had already committed to… Seriously, the thought hadn’t occurred to me and I was genuinely interested in this guy.

After a while of conversing through Plenty of Fish, we eventually wound up text messaging each other over a “getting to know you” Q&A session. We mutually decided that we would like to meet each other. Later however, I realized that the topic of my blog never even arose – which wouldn’t be a big deal, but they are referenced on my dating profiles… so the information is out there if anyone so chooses to find it. I had no idea if he even knew about it and if he did not yet know about it, I was worried that this might put him off. I kinda felt like I needed to tell him about it if he hadn’t already seen it…

I asked Lizzy and Cherie (roommate and best friends, respectively) if I should bring up the subject of my blog during this date. After some general debate, it was decided that, yes, if the topic comes up I need to be able to talk about it, but I shouldn’t make it seem like the only reason I went out with him was to meet a quota. Like I said, I was actually really interested in him.

But now Lizzy and Cherie started asking me whether or not I was even going to consider him to be one of the thirty…  I kinda froze and had to give it some serious thought.  I had initiated a conversation and agreed to meet with a man who I had shown a true interest in with no intent of having him be part of this social experiment. Personally, I didn’t want him to be part of the 30 Dates in 30 Weeks. I kinda wanted him to be something different. Possibly even something more, who knows.

So then other questions were prompted by my best friends: What if I like this guy? What if he likes me? Would I still pursue this 30 Dates in 30 Weeks ordeal? Would he be ok with me doing it for the sake of the social experiment? Does the social experiment allow that the 30 Dates can be with the same person, or does it dictate that its has to be 30 different guys?

After review of my previous posts, there is no guideline structure to any rules that I have to follow or abide by… I can date 30 different guys in 30 weeks time; I can go on 6 dates with 5 guys (or any mathematical combination equating to 30 for that matter); or I could even go on 30 dates with just one guy. So its obvious that I need to set some ground rules. For instance, does it count if I ask them out or do they have to ask me out?

If I pursue this, I definitely need to come up with a guideline system… but the real question I have to answer first is do I include someone I may actually like into this social experiment or should I can it all together? Maybe this was not the greatest idea I’ve ever had…

Maybe I’ll get some input from anyone who has actually read this far…? Should last night’s date count as date Zero of Thirty (dictating that I see him as something more than a social experiment)? Or should last night’s date count as One of Thirty (dictating that even if I like him, it should still count as a date for sake of the social experimentation)?

November 29, 2011

The First Date List

So one of the issues I’ve encountered about the online dating community is when you finally decide you’d like to meet someone, the question that always arises is: What should we do/Where should we go? Obviously, for safety reasons, your best bet is meeting up at a public location… But usually you get the cliche Starbucks date or Dinner and a Movie idea. Don’t get me wrong, these are ok… if you’re cool with mediocre conversation and a lot of awkward silence during a movie… Not exactly the best ideas for a first date.

First dates should be fun and casual for both people. Sometimes, its good to find a fun place where you can joke around and play games – let a little competitive flirtation set the mood for the evening. I find “romantic” dinners WAY too formal for a first date – reserve that for someone special. And as previously stated, movies may not be the best route for a first date (although perfectly acceptable for a second) unless you’re ok with sitting new to someone you don’t even know for hours in silence.

With that out of the way, I took it upon myself to create a list of things I think would be awesome first date experiences. Personally (even as a native San Diegan), I have not gotten the opportunity to do most of the things that San Diego has to offer. I figured, why not make a list of them and see how many I can knock out during my quest to go on 30 Dates in 30 Weeks. And if cost in an issue (as is for a lot of people these days), rest assured that a lot of these first date ideas would cost you no more than the gas required to get there… Enjoy!

1. USS Midway Museum
2. Balboa Park
3. Comedy Club
4. Old Point Loma Lighthouse
5. Cabrillo National Monument
6. Coronado Bridge
7. Seaport Village
8. Old Town San Diego State Historic Park
9. Sea World
10. The Wild Animal Park
11. The San Diego Zoo
12. Belmont Park
13. San Diego Museum of Art
14. Ruben H. Fleet Science Center
15. Museum of Photographic Arts
16. Miramar Speed Circuit
17. South Bay -or- Santee Drive In Movie Theatre
18. Mystery Cafe Dinner Theatre
19. Whaley House
20. Knott’s Soak City
21. Boomer’s
22. Miniature Golf
23. The Boardwalk
24. Bowling
25. Wine Tasting
26. Paintball
27. Hot Air Balloon Ride
28. Sculpture Garden
29. The Living Room
30. Dive Bar & a Game of Pool

Oh – and here is a link to the online dating sites that I use… It will take you to my profile in the event that you’d wanna get on the date list… =)

Plenty of Fish:

Ok Cupid:

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